By Louise L. Hay
When we love ourselves, we can love others.
In days of old, love was thought of as something outside ourselves, something that others could give or withhold from us. It was often limited to something that we shared with one other person, who then had power and control over us. When we heard the phrase Love thy neighbor, we often forgot the rest of it: Love thy neighbor as thyself. Now, we’re learning that love begins with ourselves. In fact, until we love ourselves, we can’t truly love others.
Love in this era is different from what it was in the past. Today, we learn that everything in our outer world is a mirror of what goes on in our minds. If we want to find love and acceptance, then that’s what we must first give to ourselves. Most of us have long lists of reasons why we believe that we’re not lovable. This list usually stems from things that our families or teachers have said to us, and when we hear them over and over again, we often start to believe them. Or perhaps our list relates to ideas that we learn from our early religious upbringing, or from popular concepts or stereotypes. Whenever we decide to accept these opinions as truth, we give up our power and live a life of fear and limitation.
If we choose to recognize that other people’s opinions have nothing to do with the reality of our being, then we can begin to accept responsibility for our situation. As we do so, we take our power back and start to reshape our world through this process of self-love. Love is the most important healing power there is. When we love ourselves, we begin the process of becoming one with the Universal Power.
Remember, loving ourselves has nothing to do with vanity or arrogance—these emotions are only expressions of fear. When we love ourselves, we cherish and appreciate the wondrous beings that we are. Loving ourselves creates a life of joy and fulfillment.
It’s hard for other people to love you when you don’t love yourself. Even if someone else does love you, you’re most likely to discount it by wondering, How could they love me? What do they see in me? When you don’t love yourself, it’s hard to believe that you deserve good things in life. Therefore, you miss out on the abundance that’s available to you.
If you find it difficult or scary to accept love and to let love into your life, it’s only because you haven’t been willing to love you. Open your heart to yourself and it will become easier to let others love you. Stand up now, open your arms wide, and say out loud, “I’m willing to let the love flow!”
You might say, “I do love myself,” and that may be true. But how much more could you love yourself? Look around in your life and see where you’re lacking love. Look at your relationships, your work, your finances, your health, and your ability to express yourself creatively in ways that are fulfilling to you. If any of these areas are lacking, then you need to love yourself more.
Here’s my Valentine to you: Stop criticizing yourself—now and forevermore. Love and accept yourself as you are right now. When you do, you’ll blossom in ways that you can’t even imagine. Love will heal you, I promise. Your love for yourself will work miracles in your life.
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